"This is the thing that no one can really explain to you, before you live it, before you feel it deep in your heart in that place that you didn’t even know was there until your children came and called to it, is this: that you will always miss them, always even as you crave and relish your solitude, even when you experience that aloneness as a kind of bliss, even when you thank the gods that you got to spend the night without a toddler attached to your hair, you will miss them. You will keenly miss them. And the heart never gets used to that." - Her Bad Mother
This is so true! There are many people out there that have expressed to me a bafflement that one would ever want to have a break from their children. It's also true, these people rarely have children themselves. There's this idea that it's unnatural of a mother to need space, fun or independence; God forbid ALONE TIME.
"You made the choice to have children," is the mantra. "Suck it up".
I just love how Her Bad Mother expressed the feeling. Good gravy, alone time is wonderful. Be it 20 minutes or hours. No one grabbing at you, begging for another this, that, the other, wrestling with siblings and knocking their bodies on the furniture. A coffee that is at least warm the whole time you're drinking it! Bathroom breaks in peace with no one following you. B.L.I.S.S. You never understand how precious that is before you have children.
So yeah, alone time = wonderful. But it's so true that you miss and pine after them the whole time you are alone. Your heart always seems full to bursting with your children. Motherhood, huh?
And for those that utter the mantra...just wait. :)